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I’ve been mulling over the email I received a few days ago, and honestly it’s really been bothering me (to the point of having devastatingly uncomfortable nightmares).  I thought that I was doing okay, but this kind of leads me to second guess myself. I feel hopeless and restless because there is really nothing I can do.  I don’t really understand what the hell was going through his mind when he sent it, but does he honestly think we have anything to catch up with? What does he expect me to say? That I’m moving on with my life? Show him that I can live without him so that that I can ease his fucking guilt? So that when I ask him how he’s doing, he’ll say that he’s happy and already moved on? Way to be a totally inconsiderate, selfish asshole.

And then, I’m being guilted like I’m supposed to care for how he feels.  Like I’m the heartless bitch.  I’m sorry, I would have given him everything and done anything for him when we were together. But he ended us, and what I gave him, he discarded.  I think I’m allowed to keep what’s left of me.

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Written by greenseamonkeys

May 2, 2009 at 9:39 am

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